I never truly realized how much someone means to me. I say I’m a whore, but that’s probably only because I love having sex. People realize that they crave sex, they want to harbor it. They want to be someone’s bitch or someone’s dominant. I realize that I couldn’t be a home wrecker anymore, which is why I gave up this blog for all the time that’s worth.
It started in my Sophomore year of college. I was living a carefree life, when I started on my first true relationship with someone who was a bit older than me. We decided on an open relationship because we thought since we both had needs for sex, it would be fine that we had other people fill our sex needs and have use try to complete our needs in a romantic relationship.
The first few months were great. They were what you called a honeymoon phase. When you try to call on your trusty sidekick, he responds and makes you feel like you are on top of the world. It really seemed like it was going to last forever. Then, it happened.
He found someone else to satisfy his sexual needs. I mean, we totally agreed on this in the beginning, so I’m not even mad, but we started to have less sex, and I started to find myself doing other things because of it. Soon after, “other things” started to become a part of my daily life, my rituals that I had to suddenly pursue.
Soon, our relationship turned sour, and I started to pursue other people that I could play around with. One of them happens to be a old high school friend. Haven’t really thinking about it much and not even telling him, I just went on the HS guy. After it, I felt so awful inside. I just didn’t want to do it to myself without telling him.
Yet, I felt so alive! I felt like I was having a blast, on top of the world, whatever you call it. I wanted to throw myself a party, and he wasn’t invited.
So, our relationship just went down hill, and he had to tell me that he wanted to break up with me, which I, to this day, am not too disappointed about. Just full of the regrets that I didn’t end it sooner so he could be with the man he loved.
So there you have it. My story of why this blog was inactive for the past year and a half. Hopefully it won’t be, and maybe I’ll finally get to do what I want.